Machete, you would deem it crusty and block him based on principal alone. Luckily, snowboards like the Machete don’t go out of style as fast as slices of pop culture featuring unjustly murdered gorillas or bad sportscasters. Much like a video of a man getting tagged in the bags gets funnier upon repeated viewings, the Machete gets better this year thanks to the addition of Twin Hybrid Rocker. Rocker in the nose and tail lifts your contact points off the ground for a catch-free ride in the park and effortless float to stick those powder landings, while camber between your feet helps you hold your edge and power through turns. The Roll-In Construction design over each sidewall will put an end to chatter like a trigger-happy employee at the Cincinnati Zoo while Carbon Slimerods® 1.0 will have this board transitioning from edge-to-edge with such effortless pop it will have you thinking “boom goes the dynamite.” So hide yo kids, hide yo wife, the Machete is a mid-flexing twin that will perform all over the mountain but is most at home in freestyle situations.